Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i think im in europe. pls send help
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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