She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
