i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
