please come you make the beer taste better
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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