remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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