mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
