Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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