In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
