Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
