I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
