the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is my gift to your gina
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
