bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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