return my video game
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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