Swine flu. Run for my life!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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