i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
