i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
