i already hear my dad disowning me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
