i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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