i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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