fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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