i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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