i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize