Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
