Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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