you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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