Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
