I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
