We won't sleep together?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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