just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
