He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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