I heard we made out
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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