that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
