Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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