why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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