I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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