Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
