I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
