ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
