OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
