fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
