It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
