I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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