i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're a waste of cheezeits
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize