their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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