help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
