one might say we're banned from that church
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
