Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
