A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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