the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
