You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
