Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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