he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
