that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Drake has all the answers
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
