Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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