Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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