Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
