There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
