I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
