I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
