Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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