just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
