is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
