i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dick very happy bro
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize