please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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