I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
