Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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