No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
