I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
