Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My dick has a subreddit
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There are leaves in my underwear?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
