We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
