it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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