we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
