He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize