I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
