so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he puts the penis in happiness.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
