I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
