call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
