well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize