is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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