Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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