Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I could fuck to npr.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
